JUNE 2017 EDITION

I was walking in my backyard this morning and looked up at some of our trees.  Interestingly, I noticed that the trees where the upward growth of the trees took place had the effect of cutting off the sunlight to the lower branches. This lack of sun on the leaves seems to have caused the branches to eventually drop all its leaves, dry up, become hard and brittle and, eventually, fall off the trunk. Our yard has many hardwoods that are well over 80 or 100 feet tall. Each spring, I notice that the new growth first occurs at the top of these trees because their tops are the ones nearest the sun.

We are blessed with so many hardwoods in our yard.  They provide beauty to our lot and wonderful shade to keep our home cool in the summer.  Several years ago, however, I did have to have several hickory trees taken down because the trees shed tassels in the spring, nuts in the fall (literally eight wheelbarrows full), and the fallen leaves.  More importantly, the tree canopy blocked the sunlight from our lawn, which hindered its growth. Now our lawn is green and lush.

 After taking the trees down, we received the additional benefit of being able to plant a small vegetable garden.  We have already harvested many cucumbers and I am watching each day for my first vine-ripened tomato. As soon as it has fully ripened, I will bring it into the house and prepare what may be the most satisfying meal….the homegrown tomato sandwich. It is made with white bread (only white bread, not wheat, rye, or any other healthy type of bread), a large dollop of mayonnaise, and a generous portion of salt and pepper, accompanied by a large glass of ice cold sweet milk, as we say in the south (definitely not skim, 1%, almond or coconut milk).  Is there a finer gastronomic delight in all the world, I ask you!  But I digress…

Isn’t our Christian life a little like the growth of a tree?  If we cut ourselves off from the Sonlight of Christ’s presence and love by activities that seem to overshadow our spiritual life, don’t we cause our growth to start to wither, grow hard and brittle and eventually be separated from the life-giving power of being connected to the trunk (or vine)?  It is true that the pruning process of removing these dead branches assist in the growth of the entire tree. 

As long as we realize that there are areas of our lives that are being cut off from our life in the Son, we can make adjustments.

 I find that even areas where growth is taking place, there may need to be some pruning to promote even greater growth.  I have found this to be true with our azaleas and hydrangeas.

Are there areas in your life where Sonlight cannot penetrate? Are you too preoccupied with activities, while worthwhile, distract you from cultivating a growing relationship with the One who both gave you life and gives you life more abundantly. I ask myself, “Are there areas in my life that need pruning?”

I realize that the tree analogy may not be a perfect one but it is my desire, by way of illustration, that we and I do mean “We”, strive to keep ourselves in the light of His presence so that we continue to grow ever closer to the Son.

Blessings to you, my dear friends, for your love, support and encouragement.

MAY 2017 EDITION

What was the biggest thing that happened in the month of May for me? That is easy to answer: Peggy and I celebrated our 50^th anniversary on May 20!  We are proud of the fact that our marriage has endured the test of time. Would you allow me to be a bit personal in this newsletter? I would like to share some of the highlights of our fifty years together.

We were just kids when we married! We were both twenty-one. I was in college and working in the restaurant business in various capacities. We did not know what we did not know about marriage! We started a family while I was finishing school.

 After graduation, I became a sales representative for two different wholesale liquor and wine distributors, calling on bars and restaurants. Our second child was born during those years. My job entailed some late nights “smoozing” bartenders and managers. The next job I had was general manager of a very popular restaurant with the singles crowd. This restaurant attracted numerous Atlanta professional sports figures. As manager, there were many 60 to 70 hour workweeks. In addition, after closing at two a.m., it was popular for the staff to go to an after hours nightspot to unwind. As you might guess, I was not a great family man. I was self-centered. I sought to satisfy my time away from the restaurant with things I enjoyed. I felt entitled because I worked so hard. All the while, Peggy was busy raising our two beautiful daughters and working part-time. Truthfully, it was not much of a marriage. During that time, we never considered divorce. I suspect, however, that Peggy might have considered murder! I finally consented to go to a marriage counselor. We began the process of learning to communicate with each other.

In about year ten of our marriage, Peggy began attending a Bible Study. There she began a personal relationship with Jesus at that time. I thought that was a nice thing for her, like a garden club or other women’s activities. She talked to me about her newfound faith but I said I was not interested. Little did I know that she had the women of that Bible Study praying for me.

 Here, the plot thickens! Peggy conspired with her friend in our apartment complex to put on a covered dish supper for couples. The friend’s husband was on staff with Campus Crusade and he would be speaking after dinner. I grudgingly consented to attend, looking forward to a good meal. That night, April 29^th, 1975, I surrendered my life to Christ and the direction of our marriage took an upward trajectory that continues to this day. I admit that it has not been a smooth, steady upward climb. There have been many setbacks along the way but the constant presence of God’s Spirit has enabled us to face the difficult times together; which has helped strengthen our relationship along the way. We do not claim to have the perfect marriage. I know I still can be self-centered and an “ornery old cuss” at times. We still have times of “intense fellowship” i.e. quarrels but now we find that we cannot go too long without seeking each other’s forgiveness.

What have I learned in these 50 years of marriage? Here are a few things, guys, that might be helpful. 

It’s not about me. It’s about we.

 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”    Philippians 2:1-4 (NIV)

Be extravagant with your wives.

This does not necessarily mean money. More importantly, I believe it means being extravagant in thoughtfulness. Little things mean a lot. Years ago, when I would travel, I began leaving “post it” love notes all over the house for her to find. Also, occasionally, I would go to Kroger and buy a small bouquet of flowers and stick them under the windshield wipers close to the time she would get off work.

“I came not to be served but to serve.” Matthew 20:28

Some years ago, I attended a Promise Keepers event in Atlanta. A speaker named Wellington Boone issued this challenge for the men gathered there. “Men, seek to outserve your wife.” Wow. What a challenge! One of the great questions I have learned to ask is: “Honey, how can I help?” Look for ways you can do things for her without her asking. When she needs something to be done, write it down, make a list. We guys love to check “to do” lists off . “Git ‘er done” without her asking twice!

“Is this a hill to die on?

When you are in “intense fellowship” with your spouse, ask yourself that question. Is it so necessary for you to win the day, to be right, or to preserve  peace and harmony?

Love your wives sacrificially.

“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Ephesians 5:25

These are a few things that I have learned. I do not always practice them but I try.

What is our secret of our fifty years of marriage? Our dependence on the love of God the Father, the sinless life, the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We can also say that we had the willingness to persevere and not give up on each other, doing the hard work of keeping our marriage strong, and being each other’s greatest cheerleaders. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!